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Vis de iarna...

     "-E frig! Inchide geamul! il implora de sub patura copila.
      -E atat de liniste si frumos aici, dar e si mai frumos acolo sus, la stele! ii zise baiatul catarat pe geam.
      -Ai sa racesti, vino inapoi si inchide geamul! ii porunci fata somnoroasa.
      Baiatul o ignora si deschise geamul larg, lasand aerul rece de iarna sa intre in toata camera. 
Perdeaua mangaie cearceafurile patului. Lumina de afara, alba si inocenta se revarsa pe patul unde statea fetita.
      -E foarte frig!
      -Vino cu mine, nu vreau sa plec singur! ii spuse trist baietelul.
      -Nu vreau sa ne mai jucam jocul asta! Ramai aici peste noapte, poate ma razgandesc si vin maine!
  Baiatul o privi, sari de pe geam si il inchise.

                                               Dor Amar 2014


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The last light

The last thing she said to him was a name, a name for the light.
She vanished into the darkness, leaving him alone in the last gasp of light.
There is no air in the other side, no time and no memory.
How can you search for yourself when you don't have a taste of your own irony!?

The presence he once felt was lost in the place of no name.
Where the light has no game.
No storm to clean up after he is gone.
Where the tears are for no one.


"As I am shaking under the idea of you loving me still, after all this time that we have been away from each other, I am trying to light up my cigarette and forget about you, like I did so many times.
I try to keep all the emotions away, but they are deep into my existence, in my blood, in my dreams and they define me as I am. My shadow of a person, small and unfulfilled, in pain and lost!"


It was dark and warm, not the feeling I once had, not the comfort I once imagined. It was more real than the books I read and praised, more in the moment that the moment itself. I was scared as I always was, but this time a part of me was brave and lived for that split of a second, for that moment of closing my eyes and letting him kiss me under the falling snowflakes.
    I knew then as I know now how wrong it was for me to do that, but it seemed like my imagination was something I could touch, and I had him.
   Looking back at that moment seems like looking in a book, reading a story about a girl that loved a boy that existed in her head, but the boy was real. The boy still exists, but the boy is different from what she thinks he is.
   Is it selfish to look at a person like that? Taking only the parts that you want a person to be?

Dor Amar 2014