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The last of it....

"You should have seen the look on her face when i said I'm leaving the city! Her eyes just exploded in little drops that melt the air, but not me… I am on my way to do something for the first time for me, not for her ambition, not for her big dreams, for myself!
I am counting the hours until my train will get here, its a Sunday but i feel like i have to be at work. so great not having a job for the moment!
Its such a great summer, such a great smile on my heart, finally being on a real road, not just in those old books that colored my eyes and dreams!
Standing here on this bench reminded me of my first kiss, it was so unreal, so wet and so far away from me!
Waiting for the train felt like waiting for him to kiss me again, but that its just silly,
"the train isn’t bringing him back" I said to myself!
The time is 9 a.m. and the train whispers to me that this is real, I am leaving home for a better feeling, for a better future!
So many people around me, I don't know anybody but we all stay so close to the train, to each other!
The air feels like smoke, my lips are salted by my own body, the water I lose makes me feel uncomfortable and my dress is getting all wet.
Someone pushes me and I yell, nobody listens, its just a crowded train station.
The train opens the doors after it stops with a long whistle that made my head hurt!
people get out of the train but I can't see them cause I am looking for my wagon, my number, its so hot outside and I feel that just someone threw hot water at me.
I find my wagon and I look at the door, I can't see straight because of the Sun that shines to much this day!
the light goes away cause someone is blocking it and I open my eyes....
I felt just like 5 years ago, on that winter cold day, on that bench, when we where skipping the biology class, when he kissed me... away from the people, just us... a cold air melted my salted lips...
He kisses me again in the train station... in front of everyone... it only lasted a minute, a second, an hour, a lifetime....

I found myself in my seat and the train is leaving... its not bad timing... I am leaving the city for my future, and he is coming back for me....
He stayed and watched in the train station, after 5 years after we broke up, and looked at the train that was leaving him as a sweet and pure memory from a cold and lonely winter!"

                                     Dor Amar -2014


  1. From where is coming the inpiration for all of this ......................?


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"As I am shaking under the idea of you loving me still, after all this time that we have been away from each other, I am trying to light up my cigarette and forget about you, like I did so many times.
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"There is no saving her if she feel in love with the pain. No words can heal her heart and no man can touch her soul anymore.
She feel asleep on the cold shoulder of a ghost, a memory, a person that is not here anymore.
You are waisting your time trying to help her, she doesn't want to be helped, her pain is everything she has of him left inside her!"

Under the drops

I guess I'll always miss you. I guess I'll never know the names of our children, and our dogs. Never will I cook for you and wash the dishes, Make the bed and sleep in with you.
I'll never be upset that you forgot to take the trash out or that I missed telling you to buy bread. I'll never be mad at you...
I'll never get to kiss you in the morning, I'll never play with my fingers in your hair. We'll never make love and consume our souls into the night, in bed or on the sand.
We'll never have the trips I daydreamed about when I was young, You never propose to me and you never tell me how beautiful I am. You never grab my face in your hands and tell me I'm the one!
I guess I'll never have this... with you!

Dor Amar 2017