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Se afișează postări din martie, 2017

My heart hurts

My chest is hurting when I breath, when I think of all the things I have been deprived of in my childhood. All the things I have missed in my life because you didn't loved me as I should have been.
You didn't care about my pain while growing up, the false promises fairytales were making for girls like me.
You made me vulnerable to pain and broken dreams, you broke my dreams!
No matter what you will do from now on, you will never take back the pain and offer me the memories and strength I once needed.

I hope I never become you!

Spring fever

I often wonder if you read these pages, I try to imagine this scenario when you answer back. But then I remember that I don't want my imagination to give me the answer. I want you to be real, in a selfish way I want you to change and be the person you are not, to feel what you never felt!

I will never have you! But I will always have the memories of the things that never happened!

I miss you!

I miss the person I created in my mind, the perfection of my imagination!
I miss discovering your flaws and falling in love with them. I miss falling so deep into my own sorrow and cry alone in my own space, in my mind.
We had so many conversations there and so many memories, so many scenarios that only I know about! I wish that they would have all been true, I wish you had me as I had you in my mind. I wish you loved me and never let me go.
I miss you!


The road was the same, and different. She has been walking for ages and was still searching for herself.
When she realizes that the road is taking her in the same place that she left in the past, she stopped.
She laid still and then started shaking. The concept of pain from the past made her shiver and be scared. She fell to her knees, she didn't wanted to go back, but there was no other path to follow.
She cried her soul out, with no one around to comfort her, to feel her pain and tell her a good word, but she remembered the beautiful times that she had next to him. She started to cherish the small moments that she took for granted and she build courage to walk again.

Your last kiss

It was for sure September, a warm, ready to rain September.
I was expecting it t happen but I always pushed it back.
You can't keep next to you an illusion, a person that does not want to see what you see in him/her.
You have been avoiding me for days and showed less interest of what I was hopping to exist between us.
Yet I came to you, next to the field, to have my heart broken in pieces and become more damaged that I was when I fell for you.
You said the truth and I accepted the defeat, I couldn't have you anymore, couldn't use you as a shield for reality. I had to let you go.
And as I look at that moment, back, I can't seem to remember your last kiss, of how your breath touched my full of tears face... and wonder if you remember it.

"Imi lipsesti!
Golul tau e infinit!"   28 iunie

"Stii ce e cel mai trist?! Ca eu ma gandesc la tine zilnic, desi stiu ca orice speranta si lumina e consumata dinainte sa apuc sa spun ceva!"  28 iunie

"Sa nu ai incredere in oameni! Toti au un singur scop iar tu esti doar o piedica!"  10 iunie

"Ce valoare avem noi cand nu stim sa ne cantarim sentimentele?"  14 mai

"M-ai facut sa ma simt ca un gunoi, dar m-a reciclat altcineva!' 3 mai

"Demonii nostri nu se intalnesc niciodata!"  6 aprilie

Have I lost you?

Was it a little sparkle in your eyes that I saw on the last day?
Your mask was not hiding what your body language was speaking.
I ask myself if you miss the old me as much as I miss the old you, the old memories that seem so new and alive.
Have you missed me since you last saw me? Have you read my lips?

Have I lost you?